Monday, May 25, 2009

Jobless at job!

Some time back, Rat wrote a piece on few things to do when one sits jobless. But by jobless she meant having no job, by will or by force! In that case, there is no problem. There is nobody to boss you around and you have all the time in the world. You can do anything. But what if you have a job but are jobless at it. So many constraints are thrown in. You have a boss to whom you have to report to. You must at least act as if you are doing something. You have to do that acting inside a four walled office. You don't have a choice of timing. For instance, I have to be jobless from 9:30 to 6:30, no matter what! So, in order to help my fellow comrades who find themselves in more or less the same state, I decided to compile a list of things one could do (read as things I do) when one is jobless at job. Attention people who are passing out of college and joining some IT company this year, start taking notes :P
  • Browse the internet. Yup, there lies a huge storehouse of information, both useful and useless, that is enough to keep you engaged for several lifetimes. But try to find out useless information. Its more fun that way :) How to find it? Of course, Google is your God. Warning: Highly addictive and interesting in the beginning but gets boring and dumb sometime later.
  • Coffee time. One of the classic excuses to waste time. This works even if you are not jobless. In case you are jobless, make this exercise interesting. Make it a point to have every variety in your coffee machine once a day. When you are in office, coffee machine is your girl friend, visit her every hour. If you can extend every coffee break to half an hour, abracadabra, half a day is gone!
  • Eat slowly. I mean the lunch. Take your time, enjoy your food, come back late. Go to the food court when it is most crowded, therby eliminating your chances of returning soon. Who knows, you might even get to meet that special someone! ;)
  • Chat. Chat, chat and chat like a girl. Google is like a Hindu god, it has a family of smaller gods that are equally helpful and the world's favourite is GTalk (may be lord Ganesh :)) Use it to the maximum. Ping people whom you have not pinged in two lifetimes. Bug them until they block you. Comment on everybody's status message. Chat with your relative in the US, chat with the guy in the next cubicle. Chat until your keyboard breaks! Warning: This plays dangerously with other people's patience. Be ready to be beaten up!
  • Talk, for free. Don't register your mobile number under 'do not disturb'. Let them call you. Have fun at their expense. Make the conversations as romantic as possible. If a girl calls you, ask her if she will marry you. And the best part is you don't have to worry about losing your callers this way. There are a whole bunch of people giving free credit cards or with new mobile schemes or offering pension plans or some crap for which they will always call you. Have fun :)
  • Extracurricular activities. You can always indulge in extracurricular activities like playing games, watching movies etc. They say extracurricular activites lead to overall personality development. Don't ask me how, I have absolutely no clue! Warning: These stunts are performed by highly trained professionals in nonsupervised environments. Do not try these at your office! :P
  • Sleep. What? Do you want me to explain how to do it? Come on. This is the by far the most gratifying timepass in the world. The best part is you don't even feel time passing by! Warning: Not required. I know you guys have been doing this from school. You must be experts at this.
This is all I could think of. I have implemented almost all of them to varying degrees of success. The effectiveness of each option is determined by so many localised factors and so I cannot guarantee anything. I would suggest, implement each of them on a pilot basis and go forward based on the pilot test results. Good god, seems I have already become a manager...! And yeah, imagination is the only limit to innovation. So imagine, innovate and don't forget to update it in the comments section. Lets spread the knowledge...

Cheers :)

6 comments:

Ashish said...

I hv taken notes :)..

babu :) said...

nice one

அகிலன்(Akilan) said...

I know you are an expert in this area.
*bows respectfully*Took notes master! :)

swarna said...

hilarious... points taken.. i ll remember it for obvious reasons:)... luks lik u have bcum an adept in the area of bein jobless..way to go..(jus kiddin)...

Srivatsan said...

Hilarious post,senior! But Im in urgent need of a post that will help students(ex-), who have to wait for a year to get a call from the company in which he is placed,to pass their time!??

The Rat... said...

and i tot, i commented on this post....

lolzzz now u r back to ur "i'm busy" act sweet heart..
all d best...